There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
