I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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