If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
