Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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