does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
