ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am available for nakedness
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
