peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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