I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
