I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
