I didn't shave. On purpose
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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