i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i drank out of a bidet.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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