i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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