I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
