Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
