I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
