i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
