Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize