WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
