i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
