dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
