Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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