I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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