Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
