Sry I called you an 8
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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