If that was your dad, he is hot
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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