Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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