How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
