Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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