So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
