love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
