Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize