i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He shit in the fireplace
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
