How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
