We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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