Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
