i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i came on her dog
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
