Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
