i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
