my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
