For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
