Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
