Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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