the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
