Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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