3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
