ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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