What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
