so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
