I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
