Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
