you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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