Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
