If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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