It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
