bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
