Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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