My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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