I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Who did Billy Mays play for?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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