I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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