I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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