I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im holly from the hills drunk
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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